The idea of abundance is a powerful one that most self-help or spiritual writers speak about in this day and age. They tell you that the experience of lack is one that stems from our unwillingness to embrace abundance. We have everything only we don’t let ourselves see it. “It is you who place your hands before your eyes and proclaim darkness everywhere.”
I am here to say that this is true. I have everything—that I need and that I ever wanted.
Now, on the face of it, it may appear to you not to be true. I don’t have a job. I did not marry and have no children. I do not own property or have a significant bank balance. I appear not to know where I am headed next although I have some idea of my long-term destination. When you look at me, you may not see what I feel.
I feel content. Yes, there is lots left to do in my life and there are lots of places to go and people left to meet. However, I feel content.
How can I describe that to you? Poorly, I suspect.
The fact is that in my heart, I know I have everything and so there is no need to be desperate or frantic about anything at all. Things come my way, I look at them with interest but without a covetous or desperate edge. People offer me opportunities and I am interested in them but do not feel that my life depends on them. I would like to own this gizmo and buy that dress, and books—I could always use books—but I can also do that tomorrow.
Is it just that I have learned to wait? ? Partly. However, the experience of abundance is like the experience of bliss. You just feel it somewhere inside you as a quiet and confident contentment. It does not diminish the capacity for desire, I think, but just takes off that edge to it that keeps you in a permanent state of disquiet.
I have everything. I have a home and food and shelter and enough for my needs and wants. I am blessed in the quality of the innumerable people in my life. I have usable talents and inner resources, both. I do work I love on terms I am comfortable with. I have the courage and the means, both inner and outer, to do that work in the way I think it should be done. My work has meaning to me; my life has meaning to me. I know my life to be touched by grace in every minute. All else will follow; I know that for sure. Because I know the abundance in my life and I am content to wait for all the gifts life has in store for me.
And I know this because, Devi, when I close my eyes, I can feel your presence in my heart, your hands holding me, your will in my mind and in my limbs. There is abundance because of your presence and there is contentment because of your grace.
Namastasyai namastasyai namastasyai namo namaha.
Swarna
Chennai
October 4, 2003.
Return to Navaratri 2003.
Go to Vijayadashami.